Time Flies

Wow, I can't believe it have been 1 year since my last chemo. I am glad to put it behind me. I just watched the movie 50/50 with my support group ladies. It is so amazing to have friends who have also been through cancer too. We can be freaked out about cancer, will it come back? I am hopeful and want to do everything I can. What I have really learned through this is, it doesn't really matter how healthy you are, cancer can get you.  We have to live and enjoy every day with people we care about.

Radiation

Radiation is about half way over. I am felling tired today. It seems wierd to be having a hard time when radiation is so much better than chemo. But it is everyday and I am tired. I am really glad to have the support group and my Mary Kay business to keep me distracted. My brain is swirling and it almost feels like I can't hold onto a thought. I fact I have meant to write this blog for well over a week. Better late than never. My hair is growing back, slowly. Too bad my leg and armpit hair is also. I am trying to focus on June 2nd. I think I can party then.

Lost hair

I am done with chemo, yay!!! Now I have almost no hair. It was not quite the freeing feeling I thought it would be. Everyday I check to see if there is new hairs poking through, so far only my leg hair is returning. Darn. I am feeling very brave to put my uncovered head picture on here, but I want to be able to look back and see it progressively come back. Katie and I have had great success with creating our support group. I also started my Mary Kay business. The sun is out and helping me forget the chemo days. Tomorrow is a PET scan, then a week until I find out when I start radiation. Bluhhhhh.

Round 4

I felt like a pin cushion this last round, with a total of 4 Iv attempts. I guess that kind of goes with it being the beginning of round 4. The doctor warned me that these last two chemo appointments will be the worst. I will try to keep a brave face on but I may have to just cry sometimes. I hope someday that there will be a better way to cure cancer, or hopefully prevent it.

Getting through it.

I am 6 down 2 to go. Not really able to imagine radiation, so I won't. I feel sick but mentally alive. I am going to write a book. It will keep me busy and motivated. It feels like I have been stuck inside, only able to look out through a rain covered window. I am really looking forward to the summer sun and trips to watery destinations. Cooper has been a wonderful distraction. He sees any break in the clouds and wants to go outside to ride his bike. I am trying to take his cue and look for every opportunity to enjoy life.

So I am now loosing my hair. I guess I should be glad it stayed so long. It is very wierd. My skin feels sort of numb. There are these moments where I realize how serious cancer is, and how can I have it? I also think of the other people who have gone though it, are going through it, and people who will. I am going to be as strong as I can, but loosing my hair is going to be really hard.

Ups and downs

Today I am finally feeling a little better. I felt really tired and yucky the past couple of days. Today I have a little energy and can think more clearly. I am thinking about summer and what it will be like to not have chemo looming over me. I have been eating well thanks to great food from everyone and thankfully not being very nauseous. Mostly my mouth will hurt, but it has been fine today. I have this Norman Rockwell calendar by my computer and this month is "missing the dance". It shows a girl sick in bed and she is looking at a flyer for a dance that she is obviously missing. I kinda feel like that.